Some things never change

- Bob Seger Lyrics




Sometimes that's a good thing.

Ms. Betty

Oh Mr Mayor...

I am starting to think our beloved mayor needs a spanking.

Lately he is spending quite a bit of time gallivanting around the country trying to raise funds for this monstrous convention that will be inflicted on Denver come August. I'm not sure how much time he is spending here in town, but I really don't think it's enough. Shouldn't he have higher priorities here at home, like coming up with a better street management plan for bad weather this winter? (Extra credit for anyone who can guess what "solar powered snow removal" means.)

Then, last week, he tried to get himself hit by a train while goofing around in front of the Performing Arts Center. Surely a man of his age should know better than to play on train tracks. He should also be grateful when someone with more sense gets him out of the way rather than being snippy about it.

Now it seems he feels the need to make questionable jokes about "alternative" plans for the Federal grant money we are supposed to receive to help cover some of the security costs of this convention. By his own admission making the joke was questionable in judgment. Yet he did it anyway.

I think the stress of preparing for this convention is getting to him. I suggest a nice long trip over someone's knee for a hairbrush added massage. That should clear up the tension nicely. And he can get that nice sore feeling of being sunburned without the hassle of making that trip to Puerto Vallarta.

Ms. Betty

Who Handcuffed

Dr. Who got me drooling again. Last time it was the books; this time it was the handcuffs. But what cuffs!


Aren't those something?

When we were watching the episode (Forest of the Dead, for non-Who fanatics) and I saw those, "Wow!" was all I could say. Chuck thought I was simply wowing over David Tennant in handcuffs. "Never mind David Tennant, did you see those cuffs?"

"There's just handcuffs."

"Nooo. Those are not your average cuffs."

So we had to rewind. "Well, they're hinged," says Chuck. He then starts to explain what hinged handcuffs are. Something about the look on my face stopped him. Suddenly he realized I'd probably seen hinged cuffs before. "They pivot," he said. "Most cuffs don't do that."

"Honey, look at those cuffs!" So we freeze frame the above shot while I point out the chunky design, the highly unusual hinge, etc, etc. By this time I am fascinated, I am obsessed. These cuffs are the best bondage toy I have ever seen, and I want them...badly!

Unfortunately we came to the conclusion that they were probably the creation of the Doctor's magical prop department rather than real handcuffs available for purchase somewhere. (He's a bit reluctant to ask the Dr. Who forum, so we don't know for sure.)

Eventually we watched the rest of the episode, I think I remember the plot, mostly, but my mind was still on those cuffs... and Professor River Song's answer when the Doctor asks why she has them. ["Spoilers," she says with a wicked smile. >:) ]

Thank you, Steven Moffat! He always writes my favorite Who episodes. I suppose that should nto be surprising, after all we are talking about the man who brought us Lesbian Spank Inferno. ;)

Ms. Betty

Surely this should be a thrashing offense!

It is 9:30 here in Denver. I should, by all rights, be at work, but I'm not.

Why not?

Because when I walked out of my apartment to catch my bus this morning I found we were completely blocked off. They are repaving the parking lot here and at least from where my building is, there is no way out to the street.

So here I sit, stewing, late, and very unhappy.

Not unhappy with the paving crew, they are merely doing their jobs. What I am unhappy about is that we were given not one word of warning or advanced notice by the management of our complex. That simply will not do.

It just so happens I have a very special package arriving today that the office will be signing for. When I pick it up later, I am tempted to open it on the spot and give the office staff a lesson in common courtesy.

Ms. Betty

Ritual and Emotion

I am sitting here once again struck by the deep similarities in Pagan ritual and BDSM ritual. I am reading an article * on the subject of passion and power and once again I am seeing easy line after line that could just as easily apply to a spanking scene as they could to a ritual scene.

The author begins by discussing passion as a vital element for directing the ritual. Not passion as in sexual desire, but the passion of the writer or the artist, namely strong emotion coming from the very core of you.

(Passion) is the building up of emotion--it is passion that gives power to magickal workings. Since magick is concerned with the Will directing emotion, it is important for the Witch to get in touch with the emotions that serve as the raw power of her Craft and to be able to focus on those particular emotions that pertain to the Working at hand.

For those of you who may not know, "magic" (spell it with a "k" if you must!) in this case is defined, roughly, as causing a change in the physical world to make it correspond to your will. In simpler terms, it means changing the world to your liking.

Keeping that fact in mind, we could easily rewrite the above for spanking purposes:

(Passion) is the building up of emotion--it is passion that gives power to a scene. Since a strong scene depends on controlling and directing emotion, it is important for both Top and bottom to get in touch with the emotions that serve as the raw power of their scene and to be able to focus on those particular emotions that pertain to the scene at hand.

In order to do this, the author recommends relying on the techniques used by actors to bring up such emotions. I spent two years in the drama club at my high school. I can tell you from experience that these techniques do work very well, regardless of the reason you need to call up and harness emotion.

One of the best she recommends is "being in the moment":

The next acting technique useful to Witches to build power is to be completely in the moment. This means that you have focused your concentration so well on what you are doing that the scene is very, very real to you, and the emotion rises naturally as it would in a mundane setting. This is the best way as it is the truest, but getting to that point of focus requires a great deal of emotional self-trust.

Or, again, rewritten for spanking:

The next acting technique useful for people to build the necessary emotion for a scene is to be completely in the moment. This means that you have focused your concentration so well on what you are doing that the scene is very, very real to you, and the emotion rises naturally as it would in a vanilla setting. This is the best way as it is the truest, but getting to that point of focus requires a great deal of emotional self-trust.

When I do this, the rest of the world tends to vanish. It has been joked that they could hold the Rose Parade, the Super Bowl and the Second Coming in my living room simultaneously during a scene and I would never notice. When I am in full stride my entire reality narrows down to the other person in my scene and what we are doing. Nothing exists but spot on his bottom where the crop is about to land, the knot I am tying at that second, his panting breath as I lean over to check his position.

For those of you who have wondered, this is why it is usually some time after before I chronicle a session. Done properly, a scene takes place in a type of dream state. You are not unaware, you are hyper aware, but like in dreams, the awareness is coming from the non-lingual part of your brain. It is not until some time after that the logical part takes over and sums it all up nicely into words.

Because so much of what is experienced in scene is so hard to communicate in words, the technique best for kinky purposes is the one word dialog:

(edited for kinky purposes)

The pair are to use this one word to create a conversation. They sit facing each other and decide who will start.

The individual who is to say the word first, considers the word, and then says only that word in such a way as to convey a specific meaning with it.

The partner listens carefully, trying to ascertain what is being said to him or her, and then answers using the one word to answer. The pair continues in this way using only the word they have been given to communicate with each other.

Once the exercise has been done, they should be take time to talk to each other about the experience. They should talk about what they were thinking they wanted to say and what it was like to be only able to say it with one word.

Also, what was it like to try to understand what the other person said? Were they able to understand? What feelings came up during this? How powerful were those feelings.

This is an extremely taxing exercise and usually only three rounds of it is done in any one session. Taxing as it is, it creates an incredible intensity of communication, and the communication ends up taking a wide range of expression.

The article recommends having a 3rd person to act as a director, but I don't personally see a need for that. This technique is fascinating, and very helpful for understanding the subtleties of communication.

However it is done, the key is still to infuse as much controlled emotion as possible into the scene and to then build that emotion into a climax and release it. This is the very heart of ritual, regardless of the type of ritual performed.

Ms. Betty
* Click at your own risk. If you find the discussion of Pagan beliefs offensive, this is not the article for you.

Porn for Women?

So I was reading this earlier. I have to admit she's got a point...well for the most part anyway.
I have to disagree with her on just one small point:

My porn will never involve a man looking soulful while he scrubs at a stubborn greasy stain on the carpet.

Well okay, mine might not either...unless he was wearing nothing but a collar and kneepads at the time.

Maybe some crop marks.

Ms. Betty