Okay, so sometimes side-ads aren't a bad thing

I started using Gmail late last year. Again it wasn't so much a case of "want to" as of being forced out of my old email account by endless technical difficulties and very unhelpful (not to mention sometimes downright rude) customer care combined with not being able to convince them I was NOT spam. After awhile having important personal letters lost one after another gets old. I needed to be sure I was getting through, and Gmail seemed able to do that for me.

Of course, everything has it's drawbacks. I really don't like the text reader scanning my private correspondence to generate side ads next to the messages. Yes, I know it's done by machine, yes I know they don't actually read the email, they don't associate it with anything, etc, etc, but it still bugs me. (Do I have to use Gmail? Probably not, but I do need an email address somewhere and right now Gmail is still my best option.)

Skipping over the rant that should go here and continuing on, I don't like the snooping, but I really don't mind the ads. And some of them are very interesting, such as today's ad for wooden hairbrushes . These are very beautiful, albeit very expensive, hand made Italian wooden brushes made to last a life time. You can even by replacement bristles for them. The brushes are also made in a sustainable, eco-friendly way, which I liked.

I'm not currently in the market for a hairbrush, I have one sitting here that just got broken in earlier this week, but next time I am I will be taking a good look at these. I'm thinking the one with bamboo bristles has some very interesting possibilities beyond spanking. I wonder what I could do with one of those 10 packs of replacement bristles?

Ooh! I just spotted the combs. Here, bunny, bunny, bunny.

Ms. Betty

Somebody Hand Me A Whip!

Just like I do, my husband has certain favorite internet forums. Very different forums, naturally but he does enjoy them, and occasionally we share what is happening on our online worlds.

Recently someone posted on one of Chuck's online forums lamenting that he had an opportunity to hear Ray Bradbury speak, but that he was going to miss it because he "had to" be in a math class.

WHAT??!!

How, how, how, if you have any love for Bradbury's work (as obviously this guy does or he wouldn't be mourning over having to be elsewhere), do you pass up an opportunity like that?

Ray Bradbury is 87 years old. Just how often does he speak somewhere, and what are the odds he will be back to someplace again at this late date?

This guy doesn't even have a compelling reason for choosing the math class instead. Class is simply in session and he "has to" be there.

Now I'm all for academic dedication, and I rarely judge or question another's choices, but this one reflects a mentality that worries me. Have people become so programmed that we are now unable to make value decisions that break that programming? Has doing what we are told become so ingrained that we can't deviate or think for ourselves?

That thought scares me. It really scares me. Dammit, folks, we're people, not robots. Just where is this world headed if we forget that?

Ms. Betty

The Middle Letters

Most everyone knows what the letters in the acronym BDSM stand for. Or at least they think they do,but even some long experienced players do not know that the D and the S in the middle actually stand for two things.

The full meaning of the acronym is:

Bondage and Discipline/Dominance and Submission/Sado-Masochism

Most people have heard of Bondage and Discipline (B&D) and most think they understand S&M. Yes, there is a lot of misinformation, ignorance about it out there, but none the less, if you say S&M a mental picture is conjured that gives you at least some idea of what the speaker is talking about.

But Dominance and Submission, or D/s is a bit harder to pin down; it's an area of power exchange that is rarely talked about and little understood, even among heavy players or "lifestylers". It is unfortunate that that is the case, because D/s truly is the heart of BDSM.

D/s is the emotional center of power exchange. It is the dynamic that is the why behind the what. D/s is why you follow the rules set out by another and why you accept punishment if you fail in those rules. D/s is why you heed the orders given. D/s is why you offer up your body to the pain or pleasure that is your Dominant's whim.

But what is D/s? In simplest terms, the Dominant is the one who wields power, the submissive is the one who surrenders it. The Dominant enjoys having the power to make the submissive do something or not do something, and the submissive enjoys "having" to do or not do those things on their Dominant's command.

D/s is also the branch of BDSM that includes things like chastity, forced feminization, and service submission. Basically any time the interaction between "Top" and "bottom" involves requiring the bottom to take action instead of being acted upon, it falls under the umbrella of D/s. Making and serving tea, doing household chores, and tending the Lady in her bath are all examples of D/s activities. D/s games are very popular because they can be carried out discretely any time and anywhere, even in vanilla company. As I mentioned in my Life of an Artist blog, one of the ways Terry and I practiced some D/s was by having him serve as my assistant while I painted.

In the past with other submissives I have exercised D/s by sending them out to run errands such as picking up tools or supplies for an upcoming session. Once when a very bored sub was stuck in a hotel room in a distant city away from home, I sent him a scavenger hunt to keep him busy for the evening.

Often a large portion of long distance power exchange relationships is the submissive having to inflict some form of pain or punishment on himself under the direction of the Dominant. Here once again the thrill of it is not so much feeling the pain, or in having something done to them, the thrill instead comes from knowing someone has the power to make you do it. Without the emotional desire to surrender or submit, the long distance games would not be possible.

In the end, D/s is about control. Those who practice D/s enjoy either having that control or being under the control of another. Sometimes the interactions are serious to the point of solemn, sometimes they are fun and whimsical. The common thread is that the exchange of power is still there. One is in control, the other is not, knows he is not, and enjoys the fact.

Ms. Betty

Male sex hormone may affect stock trades

I'm not saying it...

(Click the post title above for the link to the story.)

Blog Blather

I was originally going to write about this ad that I came across online yesterday:



I find it disturbing, but I can't put my finger on why. Until I can there is little I can say about it.

Besides which it's a beautiful spring day, my foot hurts, and my session for today got canceled on account of my play partner getting food poisoning. (I haven't decided if that's a spanking offense or not. Seems to me that if someone deserves to be spanked for it, it's whoever prepared the food, though.)

So I'm not much in a ranting mood. I'm simply going to sit back in the sunshine with my foot up and a good, thoroughly trashy book while Chuck is in the kitchen experimenting with a new method for cooking corned beef. In the last few weeks our local grocery store has had corned beef priced at between $1.50 and 99 cents a pound. Considering that ground beef is running about $2.50 it's a really hard deal to pass up, but we're starting to be challenged with ways to keep it from getting too repetitive. Today's experiment is baked corned beef.

Since I can't help I'm wisely staying out of the way, and turning up the stereo.

So I'm thinking about making a quirt...

picture courtesy of Happy Tails Floggers
http://www.flogger.com/products/products.htm

Whenever possible I prefer to build my own implements. For me there is a deeply spiritual component of BDSM and making my own implements allows me to infuse myself into them in a way you just can't with a purchased implement. There is also something to be said for the fact that no one can know you and your body and what will be comfortable for you the way you can. Making your own tools allows for the ultimate in customization. It also allows more room to experiment with new or unique items you would not usually invest in.

As an example, I first began contemplating the purchase of my first single tail whip about two years ago. Two things stopped me. First, and honestly most important, the vendor I liked made his whips from kangaroo leather. There is a great deal of controversy surrounding kangaroo hunting and the use of kangaroo products. I didn't then and still don't know much about the plain facts surrounding it and research failed to turn up any reliable, unbiased information. I was unwilling to make a purchase I could not be sure of the ethics of. My second reason was I was not sure a single tail was a good fit for me and I didn't think it wise to invest several hundred dollars in a toy I might not be able to use. Even if I did get very, very good with it, living in a 700 square foot apartment would not leave me room to use one very often. After weighing all the facts I decided (somewhat reluctantly) against buying a single tail.

Then on my prowls through the internet I came across The Frugal Domme and her instructions for making a rope single tail. I looked them over. They seemed simple enough. I decided I could risk a few dollars in materials to try one out. Making the first one was easier and much more fun than I expected. I didn't even try to kid myself that my little homemade creation would match a professionally made whip, but I did expect it would give me a feel for throwing one and help me decide whether or not I liked the feel while I practiced enough to decide if I could develop any real skill for throwing it. And it would buy me time while I tried to find an answer to the kangaroo question. I don't get to practice with it often in my limited space. (Do you have any idea what happens when you try to throw a whip with a cat in the house?) As a result I don't really think of myself as good enough to use one in a scene yet. I tried it once and it went okay, but it definitely needs work, so all told I'm glad I did not invest in more expensive toy right off. (besides, I have my Dragon Tongue which has a similar effect and produces very pretty marks, so I don't feel too deprived.

But I am always on the lookout for the next new and interesting toy to add to my collection, everything from rubber spatulas to cats made of tiny plastic tubing about the width of spaghetti. The other day The Spanking Blog mentioned quirts and it got me thinking. I know a little about them, but not much. After doing some looking around I discovered they were interesting looking little toys. A bit like a single tail, only smaller and easier to control. I decided I wanted one.

But I did not hit the "buy" button right away. The prices were a bit in the "too good to be true" range and the warnings about getting what you pay for when you buy equipment came back to me. And really, what can you tell from a picture on the internet? Not much. So I decided to hold back. I studied the picture again and realized just how like the single tail the weave of the quirt was. Then I got thinking. Perhaps I could try a rope quirt based on the rope single tail instructions? Would it come out? Would it work?

I'm still not sure, but I'm thinking about it. If I decide to make one, I'll let everyone know how it comes out.

Ms. Betty