Loch Ness Monster Found Dead

LOCH NESS, SCOTLAND-- Residents of the small village here were shocked early this morning when the massive dinosaur-like body of the long thought to be mythical creature was discovered beached on the shore of the famed loch.

"Och, it's juoost tearabble," croaked Stan McDan of the Tavindish clan. "the perr beastie. We woulda been more kerfil, ya know, had we realized."

While the cause of death is still under investigation, preliminary reports indicate the famed monster may have choked on a golf ball hit into the loch.

"For such a large animal it had a very slender neck," said a veterinary tech on the investigative team, unidentified because they were not authorized to comment. "It's possible Nessie thought it was a mushroom and tried to swallow it."

In a traditional gesture of mourning, black arm bands are being worn by the locals. A memorial service is planned.

It is unknown if the Loch Ness Monster is survived by any relatives.

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The above is, of course, a spoof. It is based on this article from CNN.

The moral of the story: think through your actions, you never know who you may harm by acting carelessly.

Ms. Betty

Who am I and what have I done with myself?

Ever feel that way?

Recently I've found some very uncharacteristic thoughts floating through my head, and I'm not sure what to do with them.

I'm not much domestically inclined, yet here I am considering taking little iced, rattle-shaped, gingerbread cookies to a baby shower next weekend. I don't even like baby showers. I really don't like the idea of wasting half a day off gossiping with coworkers I see all week and a boss I really don't like. But good god I'm going, and I'm taking cookies. Homemade cookies. Decorated homemade cookies.

Something is very wrong here.

Usually I spend my days off planning wicked and evil things. This week I spent them rummaging through the pantry trying to figure out what I might be able to bake with what's on hand.

I bought a dresser recently. A pretty little white one with flowers on it. From the Kathy Ireland Princess collection.

I'm thinking it might be fun to take up quilting again. Or oh my God! crocheting.

I'm toying with redecorating the bedroom. Or decorating the bedroom. You can't redecorate something you never properly decorated in the first place. (properly decorated, do you hear me?)

What's the matter with me? Am I going soft, or just losing my mind? I don't know. It feels nice, right in a way, but it's also very strange, and just a little scary.

Either it's the weather (we're supposed to have a very nasty winter) or someone's done me the favor of completely changing how I see the world.

I'm hoping it's the weather.

(just kidding)

Ms. Betty

Make New Friends...

But keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold.

I know many of you read this blog. The numbers tell me that, but numbers are very cold things. Somewhere in the Wrinkle In Time trilogy a character explains that he does not know how many stars are in the night sky, but he knows all of their names. Like he, I'd rather know the names.

So please, take a moment and introduce yourself if you haven't before. I'd very much like to meet you.

Ms. Betty

Under a Newborn Sky

Like many people, especial women, I feel a special bond with the moon. Though they do not match exactly, I find her endless cycles a perfect metaphor for my own changing moods.

The conventional wisdom is that a new venture is best started under a full moon. The logic here is that you are bestowing the work with all the properties of ripeness and fertility the full moon represents. True, the new creation may not yet be ripe or full but by birthing it under a full moon you insure it will be.

Recently I've come to question that. If something is born under a full moon, then it does it's growing under a waning moon, a time traditionally associated with withering and contraction. Is that really what you want a new adventure absorbing?

Under a new moon, now that's different. Then your new creation grows as the moon grows, filling it with the light of that growth.

And the first new moon of a new year? What magic does that give the birth of a new beginning?

It's going to be fun finding out.

Ms. Betty